Wendy’s Nuts Jokes
Joke of the Day
Do you like Vladimir Putin?
No, why?
No, why?
Because I want to be Putin Deez Nuts in your mouth!
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Shop nowDo you like Vladimir Putin?
No, why?Tap for the punchline
Because I want to be Putin Deez Nuts in your mouth!
Do you stream music? Yes.
Do you still have CD’s? Yes.Tap for the punchline
Good, because I can CD’s Nuts in your mouth!
Is your apartment room 4D?
No, why?Tap for the punchline
Because I want to see if there’s room 4 Deez Nuts in your mouth!
You were a Goblin for Halloween?
No, why?Tap for the punchline
Because I want you Goblin Deez Nuts!
Do you know Dee?
Dee who?Tap for the punchline
Deez Nuts!
Why did the peanut go to the police?Tap for the punchline
It was a-salted!
Do you like Imagine Dragons?
Yeah, why?Tap for the punchline
Imagine Draggin’ Deez Nuts across your face!
What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit?Tap for the punchline
An astro-nut!
How do you say “yes” in Spanish?
Si.Tap for the punchline
Si Deez Nuts!
Why did the cashew go to the doctor?Tap for the punchline
It kept sneezing: “Cashew!”
Have you met my friend Landon?
Landon who?Tap for the punchline
Trip, fall, and go Landon Deez Nuts!
Why did the pistachio get fired?Tap for the punchline
It kept cracking up at work!
Do you like Wendy’s?
Yes, why?Tap for the punchline
Then you’ll love Wendy’s Nuts hit your mouth!
What’s a squirrel’s favorite ballet?Tap for the punchline
The Nutcracker!
Have you ever tried Sugondese food?
No, what’s Sugondese?Tap for the punchline
Sugondese Nuts!
Why did the almond go to therapy?Tap for the punchline
Too many emotional shells!
Do you like pudding?
Yeah, why?Tap for the punchline
How about Puddin’ Deez Nuts in your mouth?
What did the peanut butter say to the bread?Tap for the punchline
“Quit loafing around!”
Do you like parodies?
What kind?Tap for the punchline
A pair o’ Deez Nuts!
How do you make a walnut laugh?Tap for the punchline
Crack it up!
Did you hear about Bofa?
Who’s Bofa?Tap for the punchline
Bofa Deez Nuts!
Why are pecans so wise?Tap for the punchline
They’ve been through a lot of shells!
Have you seen Jimmy Fallon lately?
No, what’s he doing?Tap for the punchline
Fallon on Deez Nuts!
What do you call a nut that won’t stop talking?Tap for the punchline
A chatter-nut!
Have you met Soona?
No, why?Tap for the punchline
Soona or later you’ll meet Deez Nuts!
What did the nut say when it sneezed?Tap for the punchline
Cashew!
Why are C’s afraid of D’s?
I don’t know, why?Tap for the punchline
Because Deez Nuts!
Why don’t nuts ever go to parties?Tap for the punchline
They’re afraid of getting roasted!
Do you like Dunkin’?
Dunkin’ Donuts?Tap for the punchline
No, Dunkin’ Deez Nuts!
What do you call a sleepy nut?Tap for the punchline
A pea-nap!
Do you like tulips?
Sure, why?Tap for the punchline
Then put your two lips on Deez Nuts!
Why was the acorn embarrassed?Tap for the punchline
It saw the oak tree’s underwear!
Do you like expos?
Yeah, why?Tap for the punchline
Expose Deez Nuts!
What does a squirrel call its ex?Tap for the punchline
Nut worth it!
Have you heard of the brand Hoppen?
No, what’s Hoppen?Tap for the punchline
Hoppen on Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite TV show?Tap for the punchline
Shell-ebrity Big Brother!
Have you shopped at Aldies?
What’s Aldies?Tap for the punchline
All Deez Nuts!
Why did the walnut break up with the almond?Tap for the punchline
It just wasn’t the walnut for it!
Want to visit the Andes?
The Andes Mountains?Tap for the punchline
The Andes Nuts!
What do you call a crazy pistachio?Tap for the punchline
A nut job!
Want to play tug of war?
Sure, where’s the rope?Tap for the punchline
Here, tug on Deez Nuts!
Why did the peanut butter go to school?Tap for the punchline
To get a little smoother!
Is Phillip home?
Phillip who?Tap for the punchline
Phillip your mouth with Deez Nuts!
Walnut you be my friend?Tap for the punchline
I promise I’ll never leave you in a nutshell!
Can you see if?
See if what?Tap for the punchline
See if Deez Nuts fit in your mouth!
What do you call a stolen cashew?Tap for the punchline
A hot cashew!
Woodja?
Woodja what?Tap for the punchline
Woodja hold Deez Nuts?
Why did the hazelnut get a job?Tap for the punchline
It needed the dough for Nutella!
Are you into fitness?
Yes, why?Tap for the punchline
Then fit Deez Nuts in your mouth!
Why are nuts great at baseball?Tap for the punchline
They always hit the shell out of it!
Do you like Chef Boyardee?
Yes, why?Tap for the punchline
Then try Chef Boyar-Deez Nuts!
What do you call a nut that’s been to the gym?Tap for the punchline
Buff-almond!
Do you know why my back hurts?
No, why?Tap for the punchline
From carrying around Deez Nuts!
How does a peanut feel after a joke?Tap for the punchline
Pretty shell-shocked!
Have you seen the movie House of D?
No, what’s it about?Tap for the punchline
House of Deez Nuts!
What’s an almond’s favorite exercise?Tap for the punchline
Almond-sit-ups!
What do you think of Mandy?
Mandy who?Tap for the punchline
Man, Deez Nuts!
What’s a pecan’s favorite dance?Tap for the punchline
The pe-can-can!
Who’s the famous animator?
Walt Disney?Tap for the punchline
Walt Deez Nuts!
What do you call two peanuts walking?Tap for the punchline
A pair of nuts!
Ever try the workout called Yankin’?
What’s Yankin’?Tap for the punchline
Yankin’ on Deez Nuts!
Why did the squirrel bring a ladder?Tap for the punchline
To reach the high-end nuts!
Want to know what happened in Kenya?
Sure, what?Tap for the punchline
Kenya fit Deez Nuts in your mouth?
What’s a nut’s favorite drink?Tap for the punchline
Nut-meg-arita!
Can you help me find Barry?
Barry who?Tap for the punchline
Barry your face in Deez Nuts!
Why did the peanut win the race?Tap for the punchline
It was nuts to quit!
Is your name Candice?
No, why?Tap for the punchline
Because Candice Nuts fit in your mouth?
Peanut for your thoughts?Tap for the punchline
Sorry, inflation made it a cashew!
Do you need a break?
Yes, I do!Tap for the punchline
No breaks from Deez Nuts!
What do you call a nervous peanut?Tap for the punchline
Shell-shocked!
Is your name Phil?
No, why?Tap for the punchline
I was hoping you’d Phil your mouth with Deez Nuts!
How does a pistachio say hello?Tap for the punchline
“Shell-o there!”
Do you like Saw Con?
What’s Saw Con?Tap for the punchline
Saw Con Deez Nuts!
What do you call a macadamia that’s a movie star?Tap for the punchline
A macada-mia famous!
Have you met my buddy Eden?
Eden who?Tap for the punchline
Eden Deez Nuts!
Why did the chestnut tell the same story again?Tap for the punchline
It’s an old chestnut!
Do you like kombucha?
Kinda, why?Tap for the punchline
Kombucha mouth on Deez Nuts!
What’s the strongest nut?Tap for the punchline
The tough nut to crack!
Ever tried Fumunda cheese?
What’s Fumunda?Tap for the punchline
Cheese Fumunda Deez Nuts!
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?Tap for the punchline
To keep their nuts dry!
Did you get a D on your test?
Yes, why?Tap for the punchline
Well, I got some Ds too… Deez Nuts!
What did the pistachio say to the doubter?Tap for the punchline
“Pistachio your attitude!”
Do you like candy?
Yes!Tap for the punchline
Then Candy Nuts fit in your mouth?
What do you call a nut that’s always on time?Tap for the punchline
Punctual-nut!
Do you like riding trains?
Not really.Tap for the punchline
Then ride Deez Nuts instead!
Why did the nut leave the party early?Tap for the punchline
It was feeling a little cracked!
Do you know Willya?
Willya who?Tap for the punchline
Willya snack on Deez Nuts?
What do you call a peanut that plays guitar?Tap for the punchline
A rock ‘n’ roll legume!
Have you been to Lake Sukon?
No, where’s that?Tap for the punchline
Sukon Deez Nuts!
What did one walnut say to the other?Tap for the punchline
“We’re in a tough shell-ation!”
Do you know Ken?
Ken who?Tap for the punchline
Ken you fit Deez Nuts in your mouth?
Why didn’t the almond get the job?Tap for the punchline
It was a little too nutty!
Do you like deals?
Love them, why?Tap for the punchline
Deal with Deez Nuts!
What do you call a nut that’s a computer expert?Tap for the punchline
A tech-nut!
Do you know Rhoda?
Rhoda who?Tap for the punchline
Rhoda bike over Deez Nuts!
What’s the friendliest nut?Tap for the punchline
The hello-nut! (Hazelnut)
Do you play Uno?
Yes, why?Tap for the punchline
Uno what’s coming? Deez Nuts!
Why do peanuts love the ocean?Tap for the punchline
They like to sea salt!
Did you hear about the sale at Dees Market?
No, what’s on sale?Tap for the punchline
Deez Nuts, $1 a bag!
What’s a peanut’s favorite dance?Tap for the punchline
The Nut-cracker shuffle!
Do you like Nintendo DS?
Yes, why?Tap for the punchline
I’ve got a DS too… Deez Nuts!
What do you call a happy almond?Tap for the punchline
An almond joy!
Do you know Justin?
Justin who?Tap for the punchline
Justin time for Deez Nuts!
Why did the cashew miss the bus?Tap for the punchline
It was running cashew-ally late!
Do you know Hugh?
Hugh who?Tap for the punchline
Hugh wanna try Deez Nuts?
How do nuts say goodbye?Tap for the punchline
“Cashew later!”
Do you like Kanye?
Yeah, why?Tap for the punchline
Kanye fit Deez Nuts in your mouth?
What do you get when you cross a nut with a sneeze?Tap for the punchline
Cashew, bless you!
Have you met Grant?
Grant who?Tap for the punchline
Grant me a taste of Deez Nuts!
What’s a pecan’s favorite pie?Tap for the punchline
Pecan, of course, it’s a little self-centered!
Ever been to Pakistan?
No, why?Tap for the punchline
Pack-a-stand full of Deez Nuts!
Why did the peanut bring a sweater?Tap for the punchline
It was feeling a little chilly-roasted!
Do you like Doritos?
Yes, why?Tap for the punchline
Dorito chip? No, Deez Nuts!
What’s a squirrel’s favorite movie?Tap for the punchline
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Acorn!
Do you know Ford?
Ford who?Tap for the punchline
Ford you, Deez Nuts!
Why are squirrels such good comedians?Tap for the punchline
They always crack nuts!
Did you hear about the new movie Deez?
Deez what?Tap for the punchline
Deez Nuts: The Musical!
What do you call an acorn with attitude?Tap for the punchline
A tough nut!
Can I have some of your Sudoku?
My what?Tap for the punchline
Sudoku-ver your face in Deez Nuts!
Why did the pistachio join a band?Tap for the punchline
It wanted to crack the charts!
Do you know Rich?
Rich who?Tap for the punchline
Rich in flavor, like Deez Nuts!
What do you call a nut on the moon?Tap for the punchline
Lunar-tic!
Do you like Batman?
Who doesn’t?Tap for the punchline
Holy Deez Nuts, Batman!
What’s a walnut’s favorite holiday?Tap for the punchline
Shell-oween!
Have you met Lee?
Lee who?Tap for the punchline
Lee’me tell you about Deez Nuts!
How do you fix a broken walnut?Tap for the punchline
With a nut-cracker repair kit!
Ever been to Dee’s Diner?
No, what do they serve?Tap for the punchline
Deez Nuts, extra spicy!
Why did the peanut get a lawyer?Tap for the punchline
It wanted to sue for a-salt and battery!
Do you know Mike?
Mike who?Tap for the punchline
Mike-rowave Deez Nuts for a snack!
What do almonds wear to the beach?Tap for the punchline
Shell-ter sunscreen!
Do you know Sherlock?
Sherlock Holmes?Tap for the punchline
Sherlock your jaw on Deez Nuts!
What did the squirrel say to the tree?Tap for the punchline
“Leaf me alone, I’m busy!”
Do you like waffles?
Yes, why?Tap for the punchline
Waffle-y good, just like Deez Nuts!
Why don’t nuts lie?Tap for the punchline
They’re always shell-honest!
Do you know Ivan?
Ivan who?Tap for the punchline
Ivan a bag of Deez Nuts for you!
What did the peanut say to the elephant?Tap for the punchline
Nothing. Peanuts can’t talk!
Have you met Stan?
Stan who?Tap for the punchline
Stan back, here come Deez Nuts!
Why did the cashew go to the bank?Tap for the punchline
To cash-ew a check!
Do you like pistachio ice cream?
Yes, why?Tap for the punchline
Pistachio mouth wide for Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite game?Tap for the punchline
Hide and squeak with the squirrels!
Do you like baseball?
Yeah, why?Tap for the punchline
Catch Deez Nuts!
What do you call a nut with a great memory?Tap for the punchline
An el-almond-tary scholar!
Ever been to Cancun?
No, why?Tap for the punchline
Can Cun-sume Deez Nuts?
How do pistachios stay calm?Tap for the punchline
Deep inner shell!
Do you like Walmart?
Sometimes, why?Tap for the punchline
Wal, mart a bag of Deez Nuts!
Why do pecans make great friends?Tap for the punchline
Pe-can always count on them!
Are you hungry?
A little, why?Tap for the punchline
Snack on Deez Nuts!
What did the nut say to the nutcracker?Tap for the punchline
“You crack me up!”
Do you know Al?
Al who?Tap for the punchline
Al give you Deez Nuts!
Why did the walnut feel lonely?Tap for the punchline
It was in a nutshell!
Do you like Lizzo?
Yes, why?Tap for the punchline
Lizzo-n Deez Nuts!
What happens when nuts get angry?Tap for the punchline
They go nuts!
Did you see the eclipse?
Yeah, why?Tap for the punchline
Eclipse your mouth around Deez Nuts!
Why did the almond sit alone?Tap for the punchline
It was too nutty for the others!
Do you know Gwen?
Gwen who?Tap for the punchline
Gwen are you trying Deez Nuts?
How do you make peanut butter laugh?Tap for the punchline
Spread a good joke!
Have you heard of Dee Snider?
The singer?Tap for the punchline
Dee’s Nuts are spicier!
Why did the peanut cross the road?Tap for the punchline
It was nuts!
Do you know Dewey?
Dewey who?Tap for the punchline
Dewey have to keep eating Deez Nuts?
What’s a peanut’s favorite movie?Tap for the punchline
Shell Wars!
Did you hear about the D Day sale?
No, what’s on sale?Tap for the punchline
D’s Day! Deez Nuts!
What do you call a nut that’s a detective?Tap for the punchline
Sherlock Holmes-nut!
Are you a Gemini?
No, why?Tap for the punchline
Gemini bag of Deez Nuts?
Why did the cashew blush?Tap for the punchline
It saw the salad dressing!
Do you know Shirley?
Shirley who?Tap for the punchline
Shirley you’ve tasted Deez Nuts!
What did the acorn say to the squirrel?Tap for the punchline
“Don’t bury me alive!”
Do you like Ed Sheeran?
Sure, why?Tap for the punchline
Ed-sheer love for Deez Nuts!
Why did the peanut break up with the jelly?Tap for the punchline
It needed space!
Did you watch the Grammys?
Yeah, why?Tap for the punchline
Grammy says try Deez Nuts!
What do you call a nut that loves music?Tap for the punchline
A rock-and-roll walnut!
Do you like Elvis?
Yes, why?Tap for the punchline
Elvis-ibly enjoying Deez Nuts!
Why are almonds good at secrets?Tap for the punchline
They never crack!
Have you met Hal?
Hal who?Tap for the punchline
Hal-o, Deez Nuts!
What did the nut say to the shell?Tap for the punchline
“You complete me!”
Do you know Earl?
Earl who?Tap for the punchline
Earl-y bird gets Deez Nuts!
What’s a peanut’s favorite color?Tap for the punchline
Shell-low yellow!
Do you know Gus?
Gus who?Tap for the punchline
Gus what’s in your mouth? Deez Nuts!
Why did the pistachio go to school?Tap for the punchline
To get a little more seasoned!
Did you read the Hobbit?
Yes, why?Tap for the punchline
One bag to rule them all: Deez Nuts!
What did the hazelnut say to the chocolate?Tap for the punchline
“You’re my sweet-heart!”
Want to play Simon Says?
Sure!Tap for the punchline
Simon says eat Deez Nuts!
Why don’t nuts ever get lonely?Tap for the punchline
They always come in mixes!
Want a riddle?
Sure!Tap for the punchline
What’s spicy and in your mouth? Deez Nuts!
What do you call a spicy peanut from Dana Point?Tap for the punchline
A Wendy’s Nut!
Do you know Noah?
Noah who?Tap for the punchline
Noah good snack? Deez Nuts!
How do nuts get their news?Tap for the punchline
From the shell-evision!
Do you know Otto?
Otto who?Tap for the punchline
Otto-matically eating Deez Nuts!
What do you call an almond who’s always late?Tap for the punchline
Belated almond!
Do you like Sriracha?
Love it, why?Tap for the punchline
Sriracha-n’t beat Deez Nuts!
Why are squirrels so good at saving?Tap for the punchline
They know how to stash their nuts!
Have you been to Dana Point?
Yes, why?Tap for the punchline
That’s where Deez Nuts are made!
What do you call a peanut that meditates?Tap for the punchline
Zen-ut!
Do you surf?
A little, why?Tap for the punchline
Surf’s up on Deez Nuts!
Why did the peanut become a comedian?Tap for the punchline
It was a natural roast!
Do you like Gandhi?
Sure, why?Tap for the punchline
Gandhi-ver you a bag of Deez Nuts?
What’s a nut’s favorite type of math?Tap for the punchline
Al-geb-nut!
Do you like Jalapeños?
Yes, why?Tap for the punchline
Jala-peño-wn Deez Nuts!
What’s a cashew’s favorite sport?Tap for the punchline
Shell-ball!
Do you know Sam?
Sam who?Tap for the punchline
Sam-ple Deez Nuts!
Why did the spicy peanut go to the beach?Tap for the punchline
To cool off in Dana Point!
Do you like Dua Lipa?
Yeah, why?Tap for the punchline
Dua favor and eat Deez Nuts!
What did the hot peanut say to the cold one?Tap for the punchline
“I’m on fire!”
Do you like Tostitos?
Yeah, why?Tap for the punchline
Toss Deez Nuts in your mouth!
Why did the walnut sit next to the pecan?Tap for the punchline
They were nutty friends!
Did you hear about Ray?
Ray who?Tap for the punchline
Ray-se your hand for Deez Nuts!
How do you make a pistachio laugh?Tap for the punchline
Tell it a cracking joke!
Do you know Moe?
Moe who?Tap for the punchline
Moe of Deez Nuts, please!
What do you call a nut that’s always happy?Tap for the punchline
A glad-nut!
Have you met Iona?
Iona who?Tap for the punchline
Iona big bag of Deez Nuts!
Why did the peanut go to the dentist?Tap for the punchline
It had a crunchy tooth!
Have you ever tried Jamaican food?
Yeah, why?Tap for the punchline
Jamaican me eat Deez Nuts!
How do you make a squirrel laugh?Tap for the punchline
Tell it a nutty joke!
Do you like Snoop Dogg?
Yeah, why?Tap for the punchline
Snoop around for Deez Nuts!
What did the nut say to the other nut?Tap for the punchline
“You’re my best bud!”
Do you know Abby?
Abby who?Tap for the punchline
Abby-lieve you want Deez Nuts!
Why did the almond like math?Tap for the punchline
It was good with counting nuts!
Do you like Dr. Dre?
Yes, why?Tap for the punchline
He made the original Deez Nuts!
Why did the macadamia get promoted?Tap for the punchline
It was a tough nut to beat!
Do you like Hawaii?
Sure, why?Tap for the punchline
Ha-wa-i don’t you try Deez Nuts?
What do you call a nut that’s a pilot?Tap for the punchline
A wing-nut!
Do you know Cher?
Cher who?Tap for the punchline
Cher Deez Nuts with me!
Why did the peanut feel spicy?Tap for the punchline
It got roasted in Dana Point!
Do you know Paige?
Paige who?Tap for the punchline
Turn the Paige to Deez Nuts!
What do you call a nut who tells bad jokes?Tap for the punchline
A corny-nut!
Have you tried Pho?
Yes, why?Tap for the punchline
Pho-get it, eat Deez Nuts!
What do you call a crazy squirrel?Tap for the punchline
Nuts about nuts!
Do you know Hans?
Hans who?Tap for the punchline
Hans off Deez Nuts!
Why did the chili and the peanut get married?Tap for the punchline
It was a match made in heat-ven!
Do you know Pete?
Pete who?Tap for the punchline
Pete-za? No, Deez Nuts!
Why did the peanut quit its job?Tap for the punchline
Too much pressure to keep it together in a shell!